These two books should be required reading for everyone with boys. Boys just get a bad rap in schools these days. They have a harder time sitting still, can’t use their natural physical strength and energy to do useful work, and with kids being required to learn more quickly than they have in previous generations, boys have a tendency to shut down and sort of give up. It’s sort of an “if everything I try fails anyway, I can save face if I don’t try” type of situation. They seem lazy and they shut-down.
And if your daughter is struggling in school, these are great resources as well, though He’s Not Lazy addresses the unique situations and pressures that boys experience in school and you’d have to extrapolate that info a little bit into the girl realm. The Shut-Down Learner addresses issues common to all kids in school.
Both of these books gave me so much more sympathy and understanding of what some of my kids were going through at school. They helped me see what they needed in order to re-engage with school, and how to help them without fighting with them. I became their ally rather than just another adult who was pressuring the to do something that did not come naturally and scolding or punishing them when their work came up short. My boys are awesome and both have amazing talents. They do school differently than my girls. They are following their own paths through the school system, and they are improving and learning and growing, and they are happy.
