Kid Confidence by Eileen Kennedy-Moore
One of my kids had a rough year in second grade. His teacher was infamous at our school, and all the parents either loved her or hated her. She was just really strict and demanded a lot. My sweet little boy is just a sensitive soul, and he seemed to be doing well and even catching up in his reading skills. However, we found out later in the year, that a whole school-year of a strict, demanding teacher who tended to snap at kids who made the slightest error, had really destroyed our kid’s confidence in himself. He felt stupid, felt like he couldn’t do anything right, and cried any time we asked him to try to do his homework.
Fast forward two years and this boy still struggles in school, but he has his confidence back. He does his best in school. He doesn’t give up on himself, and he welcomes extra help when he misses a few problems.
Kid Confidence, by Eileen Kennedy-Moore, really helped my husband and I get through those tough two years with our son. The thing is, you can’t build a kid’s confidence in himself or self-esteem by trying to. If you focus on improving his self-esteem you just get him stuck on focusing on himself and this just makes him judge himself more.
Kid Confidence helped us realize that we needed to empathize with our son, and help him to realize that his feelings were only temporary. Then we focused on having our son involved in activities he did well in, and in academics to focus on how to do the task at hand. We broke down assignments into manageable chunks. And our son could see his own progress. Over time we have moved closer and closer to having a calm, confident child.
It seems counter-intuitive to raise a child’s self-esteem, not by praising them or making them feel good, but by getting them to focus on the world at large. But it really works! Pick up Kid Confidence to get more insight into why it works, and for a ton of great stories that illustrate these principles in the lives of real kids. You’ll probably see yourself or your own child in the stories included, and you’ll learn how to help your stressed, self-conscious child to actively live his life and regain his confidence.
The author of Kid Confidence, Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, is a Princeton, NJ psychologist author, and mom of four. She is a trusted expert on parenting and child development who has been featured in major media, including Live with Kelly and Ryan and The New York Times. Her newest books for children are Moody Moody Cars and Growing Friendships: A Kid’s Guide to Making and Keeping Friends. She has also written or coauthored four books for parents.
